So...I started planning our Brownie meetings for next year. I was talking to a couple of the other troop leaders about it this morning at our little event and they're all like "what?! WHY?!" I had to remind myself that these are the ladies who put this huge annual event together over the last two weeks and they are all perfectly okay with that. One of the ladies I was talking to doesn't have a set day for meetings, they just meet on two Sundays a month...when they can...and then take trips sometimes...when they feel like it. So obviously it doesn't make any sense to them to plan stuff six months out. They came up with all of these what-ifs as they were staring at me like I had three heads. Like, why do I mean I keep up with all our finances on an Excel spreadsheet and hold parents to a registration deadline? What do I mean I've had the snack roster filled out since October? Why on earth would I already have the space reserved for our June final meeting? Who knows what will happen???
I tried to explain that why I have Plans B and C in case of intervening events X, Y or Z.
This is a lot like my plans (all written out and on a calendar) for this summer. Each girl gets to do one really fun thing each month of the summer. June is Girl Scout camp for Carly and half-day Princess Dance Camp for Bree. July they both have Fine Arts Camp at dance. August is a week of gymnastics camp for Bree and art camp for Carly. It sounds like so much, right? Especially when you consider we have Big Adventure days worked in there, too. We don't have any major travel plans right now for two reasons. 1) I don't want to drive and/or fly far at ALL with three kids all by myself and 2) I can't imagine subjecting any of our family to the chaos and noise of three little kids and only one parent. It's the opposite of relaxing for me when I think that we're putting everyone out with our crazy. So. That's the plan. I have Plans B and C (and further) just in case of you-name-it....and it doesn't really make sense to anyone.
But, okay, listen. When I don't know any of the following:
-When Baby will make her appearance.
-Whether Paul will be here (probably no)
-Whether he'll be where he's going to be so that the Red Cross can find him to let him know
-Whether he'll be able to get to a place with WiFi to Skype the birth
-What the weather will be like (hurricanes, etc)
-How we'll all handle all the transitions
-When the next time I'll be able to sleep through the night will be
-If I'll be able to make a big enough dent in allllll this baby weight in time
-Whether this rickety old house will actually remain standing until November
-Whether I'll ever be able to keep the house clean enough to keep myself sane
-If I can, in fact, do this thing...
...I need the lists, the calendars, the plans. When essentially none of this entire situation is within my control, it's nice to have an idea of what I will do if any of the hundreds of variables occurs. It frees up the parts of my brain that would ordinarily be spent worrying and fretting and allows me to actually enjoy a sunny day or my kids being hilarious.
It also explains why I probably seem defensive and even more stubborn than normal about my ideas and plans. I promise I will adjust as needed and although I probably don't show it, I appreciate the concern. But honestly, I'm handling it, as scary and uncertain and tenuous as it is and as riduculous and overwrought as it might look from the outside.
For now though? I swear to you, if one of my girls comes downstairs again...well, I don't have a plan for that. I'm out of sweet and peaceful ideas because the bedtime drama is DRIVING ME CRAZY.