Auntie K's Leg

My sister got into a gnarly snowboarding accident and cut up her leg pretty badly. She put the gross stitched-up wound and multicolored bruises on her Facebook page and the girls saw it. Of course they are normal kids so they love blood and guts stories, and Bree has asked to hear "The Story About Auntie K's Leg" at least ten times a day, usually more if you count the fact that she likes immediate repetitions in the car. I've included my full version of the story below, and you will probably be able to notice which sentences I've learned to ALWAYS say to avoid the inevitable questions like, "How does she know how to do that?" or "There is no SNOW on the GROUND so of course she fell" or "How did she get to the car?" etc. Also the part to avoid anyone trying to sew their sister.

So here's how I tell it:

"Okay, guys, Auntie K went snowboarding where she lives where it is much colder and snowier than it is here. That's like skiing, except instead of having a slippery board stuck on boots that you wear each foot and you can take off later, you just get one big slippery board that sticks to boots that you wear on both feet and you can take off later. Auntie K has been practicing snowboarding for a really long time, almost forever since before Carly was born, so she's really super good at it. So on this day she was snowboarding - no not THIS day, the other day, when she got hurt - she was doing a cool trick that only grownups who are almost finished with college do where she jumped up and slid down a rail that it sideways up off the ground like what you hold on to when you walk down some stairs. There's no snow on the rail and that's why it's fun for grownups who are almost finished with college to slide down. Anyway, Auntie K did that a bunch of times all day and then she went one last time, but her legs were getting tired and she bumped her leg and got a bo-bo. She was walking back to her car and she knew her leg hurt and then she said "Oh my gosh! There is something squishy and wet in my shoes!" and when she realized it was blood, she didn't freak out or cry or anything and her friends carried her to the car and took her to the doctor. The doctor put the no-owie spray on it and cleaned it all up and sewed her BIG BO-BO back together with a special needle and thread that only doctors have and then they gave Auntie K some medicine and a really big bandaid. The end."

I know it's so long, and yay if you made it all the way through that! Your reward is the following, Bree's version, when I got tired of telling her the same story over and over and asked her to repeat it back to me. If I can get it on video later, I will.

So here's Bree:

"Okay, Once upon a time. There was Auntie K and some snow and then she did that ALL DAY but she got tired and take a nap. No, no nap. She bonk her leg and it said owie but school. And then she prackered and then BLEEDING AND BLOOD AND SHOES. But the doctor said (think: Bree's high, sing-songy voice and me almost driving off the road) awwww you be awright, Auntie K. And then a BIG bain-daid and she fall down, down, down. The end."

Awesome!