10 Commandments of a PCS* Move

1) Thou shalt not have any schedule above TMO.* And base housing. And the moving company.

2) Thou shalt not place too much emotional stake in thy belongings as they are likely to be dropped, cracked, bent, broken or lost between here and there.

3) Thou shalt not use the Lord's name in vain, or any other foul language even if thou droppest the drill on thy foot while trying to dislodge the curtain rod from the wall since the movers won't do it for thee. At least not in earshot of children who will repeat what thou hast said verbatim at the earliest inappropriate moment.

4) Honor the Sabbath, because the movers will not work on the weekends. Or Mondays if you're in New Orleans. Or national holidays, some Canadian holidays, most Jewish High Holy days and any and all Catholic days of importance. Also every other Thursday, depending on the company and time zone.

5) Call thy mother.

6) Thou shalt not murder thy spouse simply because he managed to be in charge of the car that does not have children, pets (if applicable) and SpongeBob on repeat for the second cross country road trip in a row.

7) Thou shalt provide food and drinks for thy movers because happy movers are careful movers. Thou shalt think twice before providing hot wings if there is any chance thou wilt be in confined quarters with thy movers later that day.

8) Thou shalt take pictures of thy goods and shall keep all receipts because TMO will reject any damage claim that doesn't come with all of that plus a signed affidavit from the salesman and cashier from the Best Buy in Texas where thou boughtest thy now-broken TV six years ago.

9) Thou shalt not say thou art with child just to get that extra bedroom because Base Housing Karma never forgets.

10) Thou shalt not covet thy civilian friends unbroken furniture and single set of curtain rods, or their addresses listed in ink, or their close proximity to family and lifelong friends. They would not be able to enjoy those things without what your spouse does and he wouldn't be able to do what he does without you.

*PCS: Permanent Change of Station (ie, a Big Move)
*TMO: Traffic Managemet Office (ie, Satan and His Minions)