Tuesday, November 02, 2010

The Other 10%

I'm an optimist, generally positive and enthusiastic about pretty much anything, so I usually say that parenting is 90% easy and 10% hard. Sometimes hard is the frustrating parts sometimes the sleep deprivation parts and sometimes just the real stuff that is painful and necessary. We've been having some 10% times lately, and it's hard. Gosh, it is hard.

I want to respect my kiddo's privacy...but I sort of blew that on FB yesterday...anyway, she's having to have her consequences of making something up. She told us she watched Sponge Bob at school which of course we were not at all excited about. So I emailed her teachers asking them about it. The email I got back is actually kind of funny because it's all confused, like "ummm...no we didn't watch Sponge Bob? Because, um...we are like most people and don't think that show is right for little kids?" I put the question marks in there so you can better imagine the tone...it was funny. They must think we are psycho parents.

The whole situation is just a LITTLE aggravating because of the fact that our chickie would just tell us some random thing like that out of the blue.

I'm sure there are all sorts of child development stuff going on here and I'm just as sure that when we had her apologize to each of us for lying and then had her write a letter to her teachers apologizing for lying that I did some kind of permanent psychological damage.

....as long as that ppd also causes a side effect of, oh I don't know, telling the truth maybe? Being honest is a sort of important part of being a successful human adult...and we are in the business of growing successful human adults....who, in addition to being honest, are also kind, hardworking, thoughtful, imaginative, courageous, diligent, healthy, intelligent, secure, independent and who call home at least once a week, have excellent dental hygeine and never date jerks.

Fortunately they seem to have come with most of that programming already installed and it seems like most of our job is to keep the system dust-free and well-maintained...but it's hard. Her little heart is very extremely sad right now writing this note, and watching your kiddo being that sad - even if it's her own fault - is not an easy thing. It's in the 10%.


Anna said...

I totally understand how you feel. I know it is important to give consequences but sometimes it's so hard to watch them struggle and be sad as I follow through on it. Like Isabel refusing dinner the other night but Lucas eating his, so she cried big sad tears while he got to enjoy desert. I felt awful but knew I couldn't budge. Especially since I gave her two more chances and she still refused to eat dinner but cried about no desert! :( And get this, she didn't eat tonight either so Lucas got to pick a candy from his bucket and she did not. I hope she catches on soon that first an appropriate dinner needs to be eaten before I even entertain the idea of snacks after dinner time or a treat from their halloween buckets.

Our Family of Four said...

Aw it's ok Liz! Max was doing a lot of "imaginative story-telling" last year. It's the age. I talked with my psychologist friend about it and she said it's common due to the developmental stage, as you already know, but it's nice to have it confirmed by someone with a Ph.D. is child psychology. And I'm pretty sure the humilliating confession to her teacher will help clear up the difference between telling funny stories and telling lies that get you into trouble. Maybe more creative writing exercises will help as an outlet :o)

Our Family of Four said...

Oh and I've started reading some of your paleo blogs because of Mike. But that's another long story. Anyway I'd be convinced if only there wasn't so much meat involved. LOL I may do a Michelle version with legumes to replace some of the meat protein. I can stomache a little chicken but after that I get the heebie jeebies. And touching the raw stuff makes me want to barf. Funny how the veg thing started out nutritional and has turned to disgust at the thought of cooking the flesh of another living thing.